Nappa The Pirate King?
by daughterofrisingsun
Summary: A strange transmission to Frieza's ship and a small accident have an interesting effect on Nappa...One-shot!


This bit of insanity was inspired by one too many repeats of "Pirates Of The Caribbean."

Any flames will be used to make creme brulee!

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or any of its' characters, Akira Toriyama does!

...

In the depths of space, Frieza was in the middle of a mission briefing when the visiual screen behind him began to show some very bizarre images.

"Zarbon! What is this foolishness and where is it coming from?" the Ice-Jin demanded.

"Lord Frieza, It appears that we have picked up a transmission from a distant planet" Zarbon replied.

"That's quite obvious! But what are they trying to say? I've never seen such a message!" Frieza snapped as he watched the strange antics of what appeared to be humans.

"It appears that we've picked up a film meant entirely for entertainment purposes" teal-skinned officer affirmed.

"What idiots would be entertained by _this_ drivel?" the lizard-tyrant growled.

Cheers from the ship's crew resounded behind him as a fight scene broke out on the film.

"Oh, but of course. The idiots I have on this ship!" Frieza sighed.

To the ice-lord's astonishment, his crew of soldiers kept their eyes glued to the screen. The Saiyans and the Ginyu Force were particularly attentive for the duration of the transmission.

The very unusual film seemed to concentrate on this complete fool of a human, a certain Captain Jack Sparrow. After enduring two straight hours of the absolute nonsense, Frieza was relieved that it was finally over. Or was it?...

...

"Where'd that _baka_ get the rank of captain? _Captain_ Jack Sparrow indeed!" Captain Ginyu huffed.

"Probably got it by mail order just like you did!" Vegeta taunted.

"Watch it, Monkey!" Ginyu snarled.

" _We're_ pirates, how come we don't have any swords?" Recoome asked.

"Ay, Who in their bloomin' right mind would give _you_ a sword, Mate?" Jeice asked.

Guldo slammed into a wall and then ran into Burter.

"Guldo! You can't wear eyepatches on _all four_ of your eyes!" Burter scolded.

"Uhh, Are we gettin' swords or what?" Recoome grumbled.

"I think I hear the captain calling us" Burter called out trying to get Recoome's mind on something else.

...

The three Saiyan warriors were walking down a corridor of Frieza's ship.

"Ya know, I identify with that Jack Sparrow" Nappa declared.

"Hmph! I've got more in common with him than you do" Raditz sneered.

"Yeah, You both need a bath and a haircut!" Vegeta cut in.

Nappa burst into laughter at the Saiyan prince's comment.

"At least I've GOT hair, Baldy!" Raditz mocked.

"Shut-up or I'll yank out your extensions!" Nappa snarled.

"I don't HAVE extensions!" the son of Bardock protested.

"Care to prove that, Hairball?" the bald Saiyan threatened as he reached forward.

Raditz stepped back quickly. He knew Nappa just wanted an excuse to pull his luxurious strands.

"Point proven" the burly former general snickered at the glowering third-class warrior.

Before Raditz could respond, a screeching Guldo raced down the hall chased by a sword- waving Recoome. Where had that _baka_ found a sword?

Thrown off balance by Recoome's massive form, Nappa crashed headfirst into the cooridor wall with a sickening crunch.

Raditz rushed over to the fallen Saiyan who lay motionless on the floor.

"Is he...?' Vegeta left the last word unspoken.

"No, He isn't dead. Just knocked out cold. He's gonna have quite a headache from that bump when he wakes up" the long-haired Saiyan observed.

"Figures we wouldn't be so lucky!" Vegeta snorted.

The Saiyan prince got a strange look from Raditz. With a loud groan, Nappa began to stir.

"You remember who you are? Where you are?" Raditz asked.

"Arrr! O'course I know where I be, ya scurvy dog! I be aboard the _Neptune's Revenge_!" Nappa barked.

"And YOU are?" Raditz asked in disbelief.

"I AM THE PIRATE KING! SCOURGE OF THE SEVEN SEAS!"

"WHAT?" Vegeta snarled.

"Oh, boy!" Raditz sighed. Nappa was going to be lucky if the prince didn't blast him right then and there.

"Get to your quarters and sleep it off, Nappa!" the flame-haired prince ordered.

"Are ya talking to ME, ya worthless scum of a bilge rat?" Nappa growled.

"You watch how you address the PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS!"Vegeta bellowed.

"Prince, shmentz! I be the Pirate King! King trumps prince anyday!" the burly bald Saiyan shot back.

"You DARE..." the Saiyan prince began.

"Ya'll give ME the proper respect or I'll keel-haul ya til' yer final moment of yer life flashes before yer eyes!" Nappa warned.

"I'll give _you_ a Final Flash!" Vegeta hissed.

Raditz was frantically trying to contact a medic on his scouter as Nappa and Vegeta argued.

...

Appule shook his head as he observed Nappa threatening to make Vegeta" walk the plank" whatever that meant. Vegeta was ready to blast the former general to oblivion.

"From what you explained, it's going to take another blow to the head to make Nappa revert back to normal" the medic advised Raditz.

Raditz phased in behind Nappa and gave him a vicious punch to the back of the head.

"RADITZ! You worthless third-class! I'm gonna rip that mop right off your head!" Nappa roared.

"Well, Things are definitely back to normal" Vegeta snickered as he and Appule watched Nappa chase Raditz down the corridor.


End file.
